There’s been a lot of discussion as of late about many bishops’ decisions to stop the celebration of public Masses due to COVID-19. I’ve seen lots of somewhat upset responses stating, ‘how dare they take away our ability to receive Eucharist?’, or ‘they don’t have the right to cancel Masses…’, and a fair amount of people expressing deep sorrow and fear about what this means to them and their/our Faith. I am not a canon lawyer, so I will leave all of those details to them…but I can speak from a very different perspective. 

I am a Catholic who has not received the Eucharist in years. Yes, years. And the reason might surprise you. 

For reasons I only slightly understand, I have experienced extreme spiritual assaults that have affected my ability to receive the Eucharist, be in a Catholic Church, pray the Liturgy of the Hours, or even the Rosary. Though I love all of those things dearly and deeply, I have been sent into an exile of sorts that makes what I have learned in these years, I hope, of value to those of you who are now experiencing Catholicism – minus Eucharist. 

To dwell on my specific circumstances doesn’t serve anyone… but to speak about what I have learned that might help those of you in places without public Masses…there is some fruit in that. 

What I have learned:

  • There is grace in simply offering up your sadness about the thing you wish for the most, in my case Eucharist. Just saying, take this sorrow and use it Lord. 
  • There is grace even in the very darkest moments when we are blind to it. Often it takes the counsel of someone in your life to remind you of that.
  • There is power in every act, no matter how small it seems to you, of redemptive suffering…Pope Saint John Paul II has a whole, very Lent-appropriate encyclical on it. (http://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_letters/1984/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_11021984_salvifici-doloris.html
  • Remember Whose you are, and that your reception or non-reception of Eucharist does not change that. 
  • I know anyone with Catholic grandparents or godparents has heard the often spoken ‘offer it up…’, and I encourage you to seek the truth in that. Offering our sadness, despair, fear, loneliness, despondency, and even anger, can yield grace upon grace. It’s easier than you think. 

I offer this _____ and link it to ______ (episode of Christ’s life) and ask you to apply the blessing of it for __________

The links to Christ’s life can be His agony on the cross, His falling under the weight of the cross, His anger when flipping the tables in the temples, and so on….

The question of WHO to apply the blessing to … I’d challenge you to make that a person you really are struggling in relationship with this Lent…or the healthcare workers treating patients with COVID-19, or those in foreign countries that go without Masses ALL….the…TIME. Whatever it is that strikes you. 

I’d also encourage you to take this time to read the life of the saints. There are many that I think you’ll discover had similar periods of darkness and went without the sacramental grace of Eucharist. They are amazing witnesses of what can be accomplished in spite of circumstances we are tempted to complain about.  Take it from someone who’d give anything to be back at the Table of the Lord again…lean into their help as we figure out how to navigate the place this world is in right now, in this Lent. I rather suspect the Lord is very much present and has a plan for beauty from ashes, perhaps those very ashes you received on Ash Wednesday. 

NOTE: This is the first installment of a blog that the author will be posting on a regular basis. If you are interested, please go and subscribe to the blog. DRP