I had an opportunity to spend a wonderful week at a lake house rental with my family. The house had a dock that provided some nice water floating toys. The first day, my wife, Susan, and I jumped in and spent some time alone before the rest of the family arrived.

We floated in the water and enjoyed these precious moments together. The water was so warm and relatively calm. It was great to be there in that moment with Susan, enjoying this special place.

I could have easily closed my eyes and, in the security of the water toy, fallen asleep. However, I could not because I realized that even though the water was not rough, it still had a current of sorts due to the waves. These waves would be a constant force to move me away from Susan and safety. I had to periodically paddle my arms to keep me in place.

The alternative was to get caught up in the moment, soak in the sun, waves and cast all attention aside. While that would feel good in the moment, I would eventually find myself separated from my wife and in dangerous places.

Places that, on appearance, give no cause for alarm until you find yourself there. Places like washing against the rocks on shore, caught in the lines that hold other things to the dock, or entangled against the cable line securing the dock.

I became aware of what Susan was doing and made it my responsibility to watch out for her too. We paddled toward each other and held hands and, together, kept each other in a safe place.

As I reflect on the entire time together with my family I see how the lakehouse provided a similar type of experience. Each member of the family wanted to gather and relax. It was a time to do just that. To leave the world and all its concerns behind and recharge the batteries. It was a time to float in the sun of life and enjoy each other and this beautiful place.

Despite the great lake house, location, proximity to the water and the toys, the best part about being there was our family members. Even though I certainly wanted and needed some alone time, I could never imagine being there without Susan and the rest of the family. How lonely that would be, to have access to all these great things and have no one to share them with.

Drifting Happens

I think sometimes when we gather together, we fear that we are drifting apart and we can never come back. While that can be a reality, it doesn’t have to be. We can gather together and share in the wonderful things God has given us to enjoy WITH one another or apart from one another.

The free will and choice will always remain ours to make. Coming together as grown up siblings (added with our own families) can be quite a challenge. It can become a reason to never be together again. Each of us grow up and grow into different people than when we were young. It might even seem to be easier to just avoid all the hassles and personality conflicts from the past. We could all just show up and share the space, enjoying what we want out of that time and never have to fight against the current that seeks to separate us.

I must confess that those thoughts of avoidance do come to me. Sometimes, I would rather just sit on my floating toy and focus on me in this nice experience. Like the hazards of a beautiful lake, family members offer challenges for me that can cause me to question whether it’s worth making the effort. It’s so easy to focus on the negative aspects of each other.

But then I look at each one of my daughters, sons and grandkids, and see so much to love.

I can choose to love past those difficulties and look for the best in each person in every situation, or I can float alone by keeping the walls up and only “play being close”. When Susan and I were floating, there was a time I put my head back and closed my eyes and was truly able to enjoy the moment free of fear of possible hazards. Susan was doing that for me. I didn’t have to watch ALL the time because in that moment she had me.

This is the perk of floating with the family. We watch out for each other and genuinely care for each other. That love runs deep through our hearts. It is the greatest gift God has given us to share – His love!

My fear would be that we no longer see the value of that security and simply choose to allow ourselves to drift away, believing we don’t need each other anymore. I know that drifting away will happen at times because there are currents that will always be at work to separate us. But we can always choose to come back.

I wonder sometimes how my new sons experience this part of being in our family. It can be a wonderful and horrifying thing, I guess. Each one has chosen to love my daughter, and do that very well. But will they choose to open their hearts to me and the rest of the family? I’ll be the first to admit that that is very hard to do. Yet, as a father, I, too, must decide to open my heart to receive my new son and grandkids. Being a son-in-law myself, I know that being accepted and loved by my in-laws was important to me.

Is The Potential Pain Worth The Effort?

Anything of value in life is worth working for. Sure it is easier to drift and avoid the grasp of another, but the time when you need that grasp is never when you are relaxing (in control), but when you’re in trouble and may not know it.

At the lake, my grandson was floating and drifted away from our area. He could not overcome the gentle breeze and waves to return. He was headed toward a potentially dangerous set of rocks and was genuinely afraid. His father swam out and retrieved him, and brought him back to the safety of our area. He was restored to the area where he was within close proximity to any adult who would gladly swim the entire lake to save him. Why? That’s simple – because we love him!

As each member enters our family, they may not understand the value of being close to each other at first. My hope is that our love can help them understand not only the value, but the need to stay close, loved and protected.

This is a lesson that must be passed on but can only be done through lived experience. Now I understand Jesus’ desire to keep the flock together. He established the family as a flock where they would love and care for each other. There is always greater security amidst the flock than out on your own. May we stay close to each other and to the Shepherd!