There’s a huge emphasis for our parishes to be welcoming communities, and this emphasis is good! Yet, do we recognize the missing piece to community? It is the one critical element that even “active” and “welcoming” churches are often missing – VULNERABILITY!
When I say vulnerability, I do not mean confessing your sins to each person you meet at the parish. We must prayerfully use discretion about how much to share and when. However, if we are willing to let people know how the Healer is at work in our lives, then He will break down the walls that most people hold as defenses against authentic relationship with “church people.”
The truth is that most of us wear a mask and give the appearance that are the “Cleavers,” the perfect family from the old television show “Leave it to Beaver.” It’s a facade, of course. We believe that we must not expose our weaknesses, instead showing only the best side of ourselves. This is what we have been trained to do.
Our masks become unintended walls, and keep us isolated and feeling that maybe we are the only ones who are broken. We MUST instead admit that we are truly broken and ill – sinners in need of a hospital. God is indeed the Divine Physician, and we are called to be the technicians, nurses, custodians, and staff at His hospital.
Superficial AND Deep:
“What a beautiful day, eh?!” I’m not going to downplay one of the most effective conversation starters we have. Starting with weather-like conversation can be helpful! However, we must also get beyond this if we are to build true relationships.
When we stay in the shallow waters with these conversations (or even from the pulpit), we fail to bear witness to the depth of the intimacy we are to have with Jesus. Interestingly, when we keep conversations superficial with those around us, it naturally follows that our prayer conversations with God lack depth. Being lovingly honest with others and with God build upon each other.
Tips For Increasing Trust And Familial Love In Your Community:
- Pray – First on every list, is to pray for the need. Recruit other prayer warriors and storm the gates of Heaven, also praying against the attacks of the Evil One that will certainly come if you try to break down the walls he worked so hard to put up.
- Train – Train your leaders! Catechists, Bible Study Leaders, even the finance council, should know how to share what Jesus is doing in their lives and be trained in how to ask questions that inspire others to share.
- Affirm – Once you place the goal of vulnerable sharing before your core volunteers, you must constantly affirm this activity to make this normative within community life. Frequent reminders will be needed until it is embraced.
In Conclusion:
For some, it will be tempting to dismiss this as “touchy-feely” and unnecessary. Or, you might wonder if the ingrained culture of the parish could ever change. We must trust if even one leader begins to prayerfully share the places where they need healing, God will not only bring deeper healing to them, but also open the floodgates of mercy to the others that will begin to follow suit. The Divine Physician desires to heal! Will we allow His work?
Vulnerability is the “secret sauce for true community.”
Francesca Battistelli sings a song that shows us a great example of the sauce’s effectiveness, If We’re Honest. Check it out here… https://youtu.be/lDcTvtuuVU8
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